Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Back Mammond : Adrian Peterson's Terrapin

Back Mammond : Adrian Peterson’s Terrapin 

Meanwhile, back at the Metrodome….

If you just joined us, let me get you up to speed.  Mel Mammond,
( the actor/director known as Mel Gibson ) was gang tackled in the
end zone by none other than Back Mammond ( Minnesota Vikings
running back Adrian Peterson) , Sack  Mammond ( Minnesota Vikings
defensive end Jared Allen ) and Zack Mammond ( Minnesota Vikings
co-owner Zygi Wilf ).  They brought Mel Mammond to the 50 yard
line kicking and screaming and swearing that


( Holy Angel Christ King and the only Mammond
who uses all capital letters in His name ) 

was to blame for Mel
Mammond’s life falling apart.  The funny thing is, no one had invited
Mel Mammond to the Metrodome and things were going to get

Now, back to the story….

Adrian Peterson was the first to speak.

Back Mammond è HACK, I don’t care to know what you are going
to say about


If you promise not to hold these words against me can we just move
on here.  The Minnesota Vikings need a new place to play and we’ve
about run out of options here.  Any help you can give us would be

HACK MAMMOND è Very well Back, I won’t use your words against
you but as for you politicians assembled here, you are not so lucky!
These 44 KEGS of ice cold Minnesota beer are going to be divided
evenly on the 44 yard lines on both half of the 50 yard line.  So there
will be 22 Kegs of beer on one 44 yard line and 22 Kegs of beer on the
opposite 44 yard line.  You got that?

Everyone in attendance nodded their approval.  Everyone except Mel
Mammond agreed.  Mel Mammond somehow had managed to get
the potato sack off his head and managed to stand up right. He then
screamed obscenities toward HACK MAMMOND.

Mel Mammond è You f%#$^&g hypocrite. You set up 22 Kegs of
ice cold wonderful Minnesota beer on either side of the 44 yard line
but you haven’t got the f%^&$@g balls to fight me with your sword.

HACK MAMMOND turned to Zack Mammond ( Zygi Wilf ) and said
exactly three words   è

Terrapin (ZAP)  Mammond

Zack Mammond , turning to Back Mammond, said è HACK just spoke
your language Back.  You have my blessings, lightning bolts and thunder!

What happened next I will not explain, other than to say that Mel
Mammond was on the field convulsing and twitching after being ZAPPED
with a taser fired from Back Mammond.

After Mel Mammond was unceremoniously released from the Metrodome
field and escorted out of the stadium, the business at hand was getting
back to normal.  HACK explained to the Minnesota politicians, the 4400
Wounded Warriors , Back Mammond, Sack Mammond and Zack Mammond
that the 44 Hooter Servers with the 44 Taps would be coming down the
stairs in 44 minutes.  HACK then pulled Zack Mammond ( Zygi Wilf) aside
and told him these words

HACK è Zack, there is this guy named Christo Strom who will be showing
up here tomorrow with 4500 Women Entrepreneurs.  He is on
your side for building in Arden Hills.  He will be teaching these women
in one hour what no one in America is doing right now.  He would
appreciate it if you leave the empty kegs on the field as a reminder
of the hollowness and the emptiness of politicians words on a

After hearing these words, Zack Mammond smiled the biggest
smile any NFL owner had ever smiled. 

Stay tuned to find out what happens when the 44 Kegs of Ice Cold
Minnesota beer get tapped by the 44 Hooters Servers in the next
post which will be titled

Zack Mammond : Valhalla and the Garden Hills. 
It will also include a special tribute to the late great Walter Payton
from the Chicago Bears.

Respectfully in TRUTH,

Sole Owner of OrangeRace Card Angels facebook

P.S. Cold Rain and Snow today! For all the Yellow hair Viking fans!

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