All rise, the honorable JUDGE D will be presiding in the case of
WALTER JERRY 'SWEETNESS' PAYTON
Please be seated.
I have read your statements. Let’s proceed swiftly here because I have
a golf tee time with Tiger Woods and Alice Cooper and I don’t want to
Do you swear the testimony you give today will be
THE WHOLE TRUTH
and nothing but the
so help you God?
Both Leslie Frazier and Mike Singletary replied,
Judge D called them both to the stand.
Leslie Frazier spoke first.
“ You’re honor I just want you to know that the words I am
speaking are not my own but they are a gift from the author
of this post. He gave both myself and Mr. Singletary a
PSALM straight outta the Holy Bible and without any further
ado , I would like to read mine first and then Mr. Singletary will
read his. The author numbered the PSALMS according to our
numbers when we were with the Chicago Bears. He wanted
you to know JUDGE D that we won the Super Bowl 20 with our
great friend who is on trial WALTER JERRY PAYTON also known as
Judge D : Proceed Leslie Frazier, but before you do will you make sure
the author puts up some videos of you and Mike in action?
Leslie Frazier: I will Judge D but the author strictly prohibits any kind of
coercion on ANYONE’S part on what should be put in and what should
not be put in. He told me to tell you that you’re not the Judge of me!
JUDGE D : Very well, Mr. Frazier, I can see the author is not swayed by
opinion of man. OK, Mr. Frazier you may read aloud your PSALM.
Leslie Frazier: Thank you your Honor.
21 The king shall joy in thy strength, O LORD; and in thy
salvation how greatly shall he rejoice.
2 Thou hast given him his heart’s desire, and hast not
withholden the requests of his lips. Se’-lah.
3 For thou preventest him with the blessings of goodness:
thou settest a crown of pure gold on his head.
4 He asked life of thee, and thou gavest it him, even length
of days for ever and ever.
5 His glory is great in thy salvation: honour and majesty hast
thou laid upon him.
6 For thou hast make him most blessed for ever: thou hast
made him exceeding glad with thy countenance.
7 For the king trusteth in the LORD, and through the mercy
of the most High he shall not be moved.
8 Thine hand shall find out all thine enemies: thy right hand
shall find out those that hate thee.
9 Thou shalt make them as a fiery oven in the time of thine
anger: the LORD shall swallow them up in his wrath, and the
fire shall devour them.
10 Their fruit shalt thou destroy from the earth, and their
seed from among the children of men.
11 For they intended evil against thee: they imagined a
mischievous device, which they are not able to perform.
12 Therefore shalt thou make them turn their back, when
thou shalt make ready thine arrows upon thy strings against
the face of them.
13 Be thou exalted, LORD, in thine own strength: so we
will sing and praise thy power.
After Leslie Frazier had finished reading PSALM 21, Mike
Singletary waited patiently for the Judge D to call him to
read his PSALM. Judge D tapped his hands on the desk for
about 50 seconds before he angrily stated:
Judge D : I HAVEN’T GOT ALL DAY MR SINGLETARY
and threw a golf ball at Mike Singletary.
Mike Singletary : I’m sorry your Honour but I get nervous
speaking the LORD’s Word in public. Anyways, here goes.
50 The mighty God, even the LORD, hath spoken,
and called the earth from the rising of the sun unto the
going down thereof.
2 Out of Zi’-on, the perfection of beauty, God hath
3 Our God shall come, and shall not keep silence: a
fire shall devour before him, and it shall be very tempestuous
round about him.
4 He shall call to the heavens from above, and to the
earth, that he may judge his people.
5 Gather my saints together unto me; those that have made
with me by sacrifice.
6 And the heavens shall declare his righteousness: for God
is judge himself. Se’-lah.
7 Hear, O my people, and I will speak; O Is’-ra-el, and I will
testify against thee: I am God, even thy God.
8 I will not reprove thee for thy sacrifices or thy burnt
offerings, to have been continually before me.
9 I will take no bullock out of thy house, nor he goats out
of thy folds.
10 For every beast of the forest is mine, and the cattle upon
a thousand hills.
11 I know all the fowls of the mountains: and the wild beasts
of the field are mine.
12 If I were hungry, I would not tell thee: for the world is
mine, and the fullness thereof.
13 Will I eat the flesh of bulls, or drink the blood of goats?
14 Offer unto God thanksgiving; and pay thy vows unto the
15 And call upon me in the day of trouble: I will deliver thee,
and thou shalt glorify me.
16 But unto the wicked God saith, What hast thou to do to
declare my statutes, or that thou shouldest take my covenant
in thy mouth?
17 Seeing thou hatest instruction, and casteth my words
18 When thou sawest a thief, then thou consentedst with
him, and hast been partaker with adulterers.
19 Thou givest thy mouth to evil, and thou tongue frameth
20 Thou sittest and speakest against thy brother; thou
slenderest thine own mother’s son.
21 These things hast thou done, and I kept silence; thou
thoughtest that I was altogether such an one as thyself:
but I will reprove thee, and set them in order before thine
22 Now consider this, ye that forget God, lest I tear you
in pieces, and there be none to deliver.
23 Whoso offereth praise glorifieth me: and to him that
ordereth his conversation aright will I shew th salvation of God.
After Mike Singletary finished speaking, he breathed a huge
sigh of relief. He sat down next to Leslie Frazier and waited
for the Judge to speak.
Five minutes elapsed in the creepily silent court room. Then
the Judge D spoke.
JUDGE D : Gentlemen, in the case of Walter Jerry “ Sweetness” Payton,
would you like me to read the verdict?
Both Leslie Frazier and Mike Singletary both stood up and nodded
their head in agreement.
YES YOUR HONOUR! they both happily stated. The Judge D read the
JUDGE D : In the case of WALTER JERRY “ SWEETNESS “ Payton,
I find the defendants lacking in preparedness and I sentence you
Both Leslie Frazier and Mike Singletary’s knees were buckling under
the strain of pressure for their former teammate Walter Payton.
JUDGE D : I sentence you both to walk straight out of this courtroom
and into JUDGE O’s courtroom. I am only a defensive judge. You need
to be seen before the OFFENSIVE JUDGE. But I want to warn you both,
the OFFENSIVE JUDGE , also known as O.J. Crimson is the meanest son
of a gun you will ever go up against. Good luck gentlemen, now I have to
go play 18 with Alice and Tiger.
As the Judge D was leaving, he left Leslie Frazier and Mike Singletary with
some sage advice.
JUDGE D : If I were you two guys I would come back to this post on FRIDAY
NOVEMBER 11, 2011. And the best advice I could give to you both would
be to look the judge square in the eyes and ask for forgiveness. Even better
would be to hand the Offensive Judge Crimson an ORANGE and BLACK tuxedo
with a huge top hat and cane. The Jacket must have three lightning bolts on
the Left arm and Four Lightning Bolts on the right arm. And for good measure,
a pair of black pants with SEVEN ORANGE lightning bolts on each pant leg with
a CROSS in each lightning bolt. Your case has been moved to JUNE 21st 2012
to be seen before JUDGE O. CRIMSON Good luck Leslie and Mike. Court is
Respectfully in TRUTH,
Author Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions
National Debt Training
MINNESOTA VIKINGS STADIUM BACKERS
It’s worth a try!