Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Colorado's Zapato Gold with CCCChristo

Author Christo Strom
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions

From the desk of Chief Crazy Captain Christo

February 15th 2011. While I am waiting for my artist to finish
here is a blast from the past ENJOY. Count how many rock and
roll references and exactly one Christmas song
from different bands you can find and feel free
to comment below. +(~~+~~)+

J. G. Isles – MMMMustard Got Lost-An Excerpt from The Great Pumpkin Letters

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was trying to get over his shyness in public. Ever since he quit buying London Bridges from some Computer Hacker from Nigeria Histereeryia, he was having a rough time of it back home in Pumpkinville. He actually went so far as to Phone a friend from the Grateful Thyme Warp. 


You know how it is when a long lost friend's voice can zap you out of an inconvenient conspiracy theory. Well to catch you up to speed, we join the conversation in progress as it is going down the Pikes Peak. 


You see, Chief Crazy Captain Christo phoned his long lost buddy, Zebulon Pike. After Zebulon's death a long time ago, a slow burning dagger had been inching closer to the Good Chief Crazy Captain Christo's heart. Just hearing Zebulon's voice, made the sting of the dagger feel icy cold as if to not exist. 


Here is the conversation in it's ragged glory, word by word. Zebulon Pikes name has been changed to Zapoto Gold or ZA'-GO. Chief Crazy Captain Christo's name has been changed to T- Hata- Weigh or THATAWAY. So ready set go. AZ-MA walks into the private set of circumstances. AZ-MA is played by Rob Zombie.

AZ-MA- " Quiet on the Set and Action..." ( Bang your Head!! Metal Health will drive you mad..")

THATAWAY- " Hey Rob Zombie, this is a private phone call so please don't keep this in the script."

AZ-MA-" OK sorry 'Chief..." Rob slumps away from his director's chair as the telephone keeps ringin.

On the fifth Golden Ring, Zebulon Pike picks up the phone.

ZA-GO- " Chello? Collar Radar's Cold Rain and Snow Hotline. You have reached Zapato Gold's Cool Colorado Rain Forecast. If you would like to hear this in English press ONE....."

THATAWAY-" AAAAAAAR Guiles Sock of a Beach. The damn and swearing machine again. Oh well. I'll leave a message. Hey E-Z-Speak. Errr ah I mean Zapato Gold. I was wondering if you could send me a Pretty Pumpkin O to Many Soda Oh. I have lost contact with Crazy Horse's Column of Mustard Seeds. I sold them by accident to some guy named Jack. You know Jack Shay It. Well, anyway if you could use your GPS locater fishing phone, maybe by the time you get this message, we could still track Jack Shay It in the Korn field by the ball field next to the Daisy chain that Penelope Cruz made nine years ago. Phew. I know that was an ear full but this is real important. Ok Zapato Gold talk to you later."

Chief Crazy Captain Christo was just about ready to throw in the towel when the moment he said " Later" a voice on the other end interrupted him ever so softly. It was Zebulon Pike!

ZA-GO- " Say if you don't like what the big Chief says Zingin Jack- A- Mo Fee Now Neigh"

THATAWAY-" Zebulon, is that you?"

ZA-GO-" Yes Chief Crazy Captain Christo it is I. Although now I am going by the name of ZABOO"

THATAWAY-" Really, Wow that's Mighty as Well as a Spooky!"
ZA-GO-" Yeah it kind of is. So Chief what can I do you for? After all, this is your DIME, so please make it rye mm on time!"

THATAWAY-" IRI Zapato Gold. My mustard's lost because I sold. Can you use your GPS line.

The Mustard's gone Help me Fine."

ZA-GO-" The Help's on the Way, Look right and then Riff, Please be careful, Don't talk to Jim Cliff

Many rivers to cross, many mountains to climb, Just a Stitch in time, Relax you'll be fine."

THATAWAY-" The many thanks I am giving I am giving to you ZABOO. Even across the Dead lines and the Dead Weights, you have been the missing spark I need to go on with the show. Can you give me one last line of encouragement and a rocket booster to go?

ZA-GO-" Sure Chief Crazy Captain Christo but if I do, you know what you got to do right."

THATAWAY-" Yes Zapoto Gold I know I know. Hit me with your best line"

ZA-GO-" OK Chief Reddy Whips here we go.... THE COLONEL MUSTA THE COLONEL MUSTA THE COLONEL MUSTARD GOT LOST!!!!!!"

Strains of the J. Geils band could be heard playing in the direction of THATAWAY'S phone. For the first time, Rob Zombie got a little nervous. Maybe Chief Crazy Captain Christo's heart was beating to a different drummer. Maybe , just maybe , Halloween meant a little something more. This has been another installment 2011 style of The Great Pumpkin Letters. 



The National Debt is over 14 TRILLION DOLLARS.
What are you doing to erase it?
Stay tuned +(~~+~~)+

Respectfully in TRUTH














Chief Crazy Captain Christo

AKA

Christo Strom 
Sole Owner of Orange Race Card Angels
Head of Angel Promotions

No comments:

Post a Comment